How can we convince our parents to let us share a room?

Break is coming up and my boyfriend is going to come home with me. We stay over in each others’ rooms at school nearly every night, so I want him to just stay in my room when we’re at my house. My parents have different ideas. How can I talk to them about this?

If you haven’t told them you already sleep together most of the time, that might change the way they look at things. But it might just mean they get mad and tell you that you shouldn’t be doing that even when they’re not there to stop you. You’ll have to guess how your parents will respond.

Explaining that you’re in college and that you need to be responsible for these kinds of decisions could be helpful, though it’s easy for them to counter with something like “I can’t control you when you’re not in my house, but you have to follow my rules when you’re under my roof.”

If your parents would be okay with it if you weren’t straight, you might be able to convince them their rules are silly by asking them how they would respond to boys and girls coming to visit if you were gay or bi. Not letting your friends of the same sex stay in your room because you’re attracted to them might seem more clearly unfair to your parents and help convince them to let this friend stay in your room even though you are attracted to him. If your parents say their policies would change depending on your sexual preference, you can point out that this doesn’t encourage you to be very open with them. You might also ask how they would respond to trans guests or, if they cite the possible of pregnancy as a determining factor, guests who are infertile. Even if they acknowledge that there reasoning doesn’t make perfect sense, though, it might not get you anywhere.

Unfortunately, you might just not be able to change their minds. There’s two ways to deal with that. First, you could go along with their decision. Maybe being mature about their decision, and perhaps a little persistent about discussing it, will encourage them to make a different decision in the future. Alternatively, you could just totally ignore them. Depending on your parents, they might just back down, but again, you’ll have to guess about that.

Recommendations: A book about living with someone you’re having sex with, and a book for parents on talking to teens about all kinds of issues related to sex and relationships.