How can I make my long distance relationship work?

What are some helpful tips you can give to someone trying to make a long distance relationship work?

A lot of advice for making long distance relationships work is the same as advice for making all relationships work, but long distance relationship often exacerbate stress, making it more important to foresee and deal with problems.

First, figure out what you need and want from each other. How often do you need to be in touch? Do you need to hear their voice every day? Are you remaining monogamous? Are you going to get horribly jealous if they hang out with friends of the opposite sex? Do you feel like you need to know where they are all the time? Do you need to know everything going on in your absence?

Then, figure out what it’s possible for you to give each other. Compromise. Needing to know where someone is all the time and getting jealous if they hang out with friends of the opposite sex probably isn’t reasonable. Wanting to talk every day on the phone might be. Try to be generous with your time but considerate of theirs: remember that they need to sleep and eat, get their work done, and socialize with others.

Mutual trust is also important. It’s not healthy even when you’re together, but it’s impossible to keep perfect track of someone when you’re apart. Of course, being trustful goes along with being trustworthy. You shouldn’t do things you always shouldn’t do, like cheat or lie.

But you should also try not to give your partner any reason to worry. If you tell them you’ll call at a certain time, call them then. If who you’re hanging out with changes unexpectedly, tell them before it slips out.

Both partners should understand that things change over time. Expecting that your partner will not change at all when you are gone is unrealistic. When you’re apart, you both may make new friends, develop new habits, or speak somewhat differently.

Skype is also a wonderful thing. Skype is a voice (and video) chat program you can download for free. If you both have microphones and internet, you can call each other for free. If only one of you has Skype, you can also call land lines for rather cheap. Waiit.com is also a resource for people in long distance relationships.

Recommendations: A long distance relationship survival guide, webcams, and a general book on college relationships.