How should I ask for a threesome?

What is the best way to ask for a threesome?

The difficult thing about asking for a threesome is that you have to ask at least two people.

If you’re in a relationship with someone, you should approach them first, see if they are interested, and then consider possible third parties. You should agree on third parties before you start seeing if they are interested, to keep things as simple as possible.

If you’re not in a relationship, you should carefully choose who you want to approach first. If the first person who agrees is picky, or isn’t appealing to potential thirds, it might be difficult to find a working group, or to politely leave the first person behind for another set. It might be simpler to approach both people at once, but it might also be more uncomfortable.

Asking people to do anything sexual can always be awkward. You can try to do it straightforwardly, but there’s no guarantee it won’t be weird afterwards, particularly if they say no. Some subtlety can help. Try to at least figure out whether they’d participate in any threesomes, or whether they’d have sex at all, before asking them to participate in something particular.

Participating in a threesome, of course, can also strain a relationship.

Recommendations: One book about threesomes, one book about polyamory, and one general book about college sex and relationships.