How can I keep cybersex in my long distance relationship exciting?

I’m in a long-distance relationship, and was wondering if you had any tips for keeping cybersex exciting. There are only so many ways to describe what you’re doing, and after a while it can get boring and repetitive.

If you’re only using a chat program, you should try to arrange the capabilities for voice chat and perhaps for video too (webcams have gotten incredibly cheap). Just varying between verbal and written communication could make your activities a little less repetitive, but using audio also frees up your hands.

There may be some ways to describe what you’re doing that you haven’t thought of yet, like using more visual description, trying to use the five senses, or being as vulgar as you can. If you challenge yourself to think of new things, you may surprise yourself, but it could still get old.

To keep what you’re saying to each other interesting, you could also consider telling, or daring, each other what to do. You could also describe your fantasies, read erotica aloud to one another, or synch up pornography so you can watch it together. Erotica and pornography could also give you ideas for fantasies and vocabulary to describe what you’re doing.

Sending each other photos of yourselves in various states of undress could be very exciting. Depending on your predilections, waiting for your partner to send a live progression of photos could even be fun.

Anything that makes someone enjoy masturbation more, like toys, new techniques, or the risk of being caught (though we wouldn’t recommend that), could also make your cybersex more enjoyable. There are also some toys designed for people with partners who are away, where a toy in one place is controlled over the internet by someone who is somewhere else.

Handwritten erotic letters could also be a nice way to keep in touch sexually, though they’re not an experience you’d share live. Photos sent online, of course, can be saved and savored when you’re not online together as well.

Some of these activities, however, can get you into trouble, particularly if you’re not careful. Though the chances of this happening aren’t very high, there have been a number of cases where people have become permanently registered sex offenders for having pictures on their phones of their underage partners, even when they took those photos as minors themselves. Much more commonly, people are just embarrassed by partners sharing nude photos of them with others.

To keep what you share private, you need to be able to trust your partner, but you also need to make sure no else will come across anything unintentionally. It’s better to resist sending photos to phones, which are easy to lose, and to keep the photos on your computers password protected. Chat logs can also be embarrassing, so you also should make sure they are not stored somewhere publicly accessible. There are similar concerns for anything you send by regular mail too.

Recommendations: A book of erotica you might try reading aloud, webcams, and a guide for surviving long distance relationships.