How can I ask my partner to role play?

How can I bring up the idea of role play with my partner? Elves really turn me on, but I think my girl might be freaked out.

Your girlfriend might be freaked out if you tell her you want Elven role play. And, regardless of whether or not she is freaked out, she still might not be interested (or willing). But unless she happens to miraculously be interested in the same thing and ask first, you will also never get your girlfriend to do it if you don’t ask.

And there are all sorts of other nuances to consider too. Like that knowing for sure that she isn’t interested could make you more or less frustrated about it. Or that she could say yes and you could realize it’s not actually as fun at you’d imagined. Or even that she could agree but want you to indulge a fantasy of hers in return.

But that’s not really answering your question. If you decide the benefits outweigh the risks, approach it calmly. Even if you’re ashamed of it, don’t act like you have anything to be ashamed of (you don’t). But also don’t act like you’re not asking her to do something kind of weird (you are).

You shouldn’t beg and you shouldn’t pressure. Just explain and ask if she’s interested. It’s honorable if she is, and people should try to satisfy their partners, but it’s reasonable if she isn’t. You should also be ready to do things she’s interested in. If you ask other people to indulge you, then it is unreasonable not to be willing to indulge them.

It also might not hurt to try to bring it up a little less directly. If you can start a conversation where you admit your secret fantasies to each other, without the pressure of a direct request about fulfilling them, it might more gently give her a chance to consider your thing. And if she’s sharing too then you’re less vulnerable and there’s more on the table.

But, also, we’re a little confused. What exactly does Elven role play entail?

Recommendations: A book about how to get your partner to try new sexual activities (targeted at men with women) and a deck of role playing scenarios for couples.