Can you give me an introductory guide to anal sex?

Can you give me an introductory guide to anal sex?

Anal sex can include a bunch of things. It can mean inserting a penis, dildo, or other object into the anus. It can mean anilingus (anal-oral sex). And it can mean stimulating the outside of the anus. We’ll focus on penetration with a penis or dildo but touch on others.

It should also be noted that anyone can participate in anal sex: anyone can use a dildo and anyone can enjoy being penetrated. That doesn’t mean that everyone will, just that there are no groups, like straight males or lesbians, that can’t.

Experimenting alone can be educational, fun, and good practice. Fingers or sex toys can be used. The shower can be a good place for this.

As always, communication is important. Partners should be clear on what’s going on and how it’s going to happen.

The receiving partner should defecate before anal sex. Not doing so can make things uncomfortable, unhealthy, or messy. Some prefer to do this a little while rather than immediately before sex. Some use enemas. Some also like to shower.

You should practice safer sex. Use condoms. Anal sex can spread STIs, parasites, and bacteria. Use lubricated or unlubricated condoms, but avoid spermicidal condoms, which can aggravate the lining of the rectum. For anilingus, use dental dams (condoms and plastic wrap can be used for makeshift dental dams).

Use lots of lube, regardless of whether you use a lubricated or unlubricated condom. You will probably want to use more than you anticipate. Unlike the vagina, the rectum is not self-lubricating. Water- or silicone-based lubricants are preferable since oil-based lubricants degrade condoms.

The receiving partner should lead. They should control how much is inserted and the speed of any movement. And, of course, if they say stop, things should immediately stop.

Start small. Don’t start with a penis or large dildo. Start with a tongue or finger. Then use two fingers. Then consider a small dildo or butt plug. This progression can happen over multiple sexual sessions. Use condoms and lube with fingers and dildos. Keep fingernails trimmed. If you are using toys that are not specifically designed for anal use, be sure to hold onto them, since, unlike the vagina, toys can easily slip into the rectum and need to be removed by a doctor.

Relaxation is important. It is against the nature of the anus, but vital to pleasurable anal sex. Starting small, going slow, and staying comfortable with the situation make relaxing easier.

Go slowly. Pause frequently. Let the receiver lead. Stimulate the outside of the anus first. Insert inch by inch. Slowly start moving. Don’t withdraw all the way, since this will make inserting again more difficult.

The receiver might feel like they need to defecate. There is no need to be concerned. Growing accustomed to the feeling my make it less worrisome and bothersome.

Many positions work. Spooning is an easier way to start. The receiver on all fours may prove more pleasurable. The receiver sitting on top of their partner and the missionary position can also be used.

Anal sex can be combined with other things. The penetrative partner can use their hands to stimulate the receiver’s breast, clitoris, or penis. Anal sex can also be performed with fingers or a vibrator during vaginal or oral sex.

Anal sex can be messy and can leave the receiver feeling uncomfortable, but if practiced safely it shouldn’t cause any long-lasting damage.

Before inserting anything that’s been in the rectum into the vagina or mouth, it should be washed thoroughly in soap and water and any condoms should be discarded.

As always, practice improves technique. Frequent practice can also help receivers get used to the sensation, making relaxation easier.

Recommendations: A book on anal sex for couples, an anal sex starter kit, and a simple (and cheap) anal sex toy.